Tuesday, October 5, 2010

{ DATE #19: Joe Abrams }


I've had a really difficult time reading through a lot of the comments that have been coming in with regards to Date #19 with Joe Abrams, and I feel it necessary to re-write this post.

First, may I offer my sincerest apologies for all of the misunderstandings that resulted from my poor write-up of this date.  I have to admit, I did not do a very good job of explaining why I was so upset and felt disrespected by the date.  So for the record, let's just try this again....

While in the middle of my fun date (yes, I think it could have been a very fun and cute date had it been executed with the proper intentions), something happened to upset me.  While in the middle of our Toys R Us run, I asked Joe why he decided to take me out on a date.  With a little hesitation, he admitted that he took me on the date as a joke.  A way to ridicule The Mormon Bachelorette.  Of course I had the same immediate reaction that many of you would have.  I was upset.  I explained that I was serious about my endeavor to find a great guy and that it hurt my feelings that he would try to make a mockery of me and make me feel stupid, which he admitted.

So please understand why I felt the need to forgive him for hurting my feelings (maybe even just my ego) and not having fun on this date.  I am so grateful to Joe for his sincere apology and he really went to a great effort to change his mind about this date.  So Joe, I apologize if I portrayed you in a poor light.  You certainly deserve to be treated as the wonderful person I know you are and I hope we can put everything behind us...

7 comments:

Kim said...

I have the perfect quote for this...
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain..."
Nice ball balancing!

Mandee said...

Joe is one of the sweetest, most sincere individuals I have ever met. I can assure you, that he did NOT go on the date as a joke. He may of applied as a joke, but he wouldn't take a girl out that he didn't see potential in. That said, no one has the power to hurt our feelings. We allow that to happen by getting offended. Good luck in your journey to find love, there isn't one of those guys as driven and smart and motivated as Joe, or that will go as far as him in life

Adrian Harris said...

For understandable reasons it appears that all of the viewers of this event have begun to deify Aubrey. I have never met her personally, but from all accounts it appears that she is smart, goal-oriented, fun, cute, very focused on spiritual and eternal progression (which I love), and good and noble in every other way. I wish that many, if not all women, both in and out of the church were as great as her. It appears that any LDS guy who would not want to date her would be crazy. Yet, I would like to add a word of demystification. What does it mean when she kisses one guy one week and another guy the next? Is she really expressing affection for that particular individual? I guess my question is, at the end of this "contest" will she really be in love with the "winner" or is she just in love with the idea of being in love? Only she can answer that question. And I don't believe that she has to answer that question to me nor to anyone else, only to herself.

I think that we all have a lot to learn from this experience.
I think that Joe can learn that there is a time and place for dates that are purely fun- this wasn't it.
I think that Aubrey can learn to not take offense where none is intended.
And I think that we can all learn to refrain from judgment until we have heard both sides of the story. Virtually all of my friends who don't know Joe now think that he is the biggest jerk to ever walk the planet. In case you haven't noticed, all that we see of the dates are 3 minutes of highlights with some romantic music in the background. We hear very little dialogue and really don't know what actually happened throughout the course of the date. It is possible that Aubrey didn't have any connection at all with many of these gentlemen, and we would never know because of the way she writes (for which, if it is true I commend Aubrey all the more). My point is, that all we get to see on Aubrey's blog is her point of view. I think it only fair to refrain from harsh judgment and distaste until both points of view have been presented. And in truth, I would love to see the actual footage of the whole date to see what really happened, and not to have to rely on what happened through someone else's eyes.

Whether or not Joe gets invited back for another date doesn't really interest me. I would think it a great thing so that you could all see how great of a guy he really is, though now he is cast in a poor shadow. What I really hope for is that Aubrey does find love and is truly happy. Either way, the truth will win out and people will one day see the truth about Joe Abrams.

Tyson Kuresa said...

Wow Adrian

Tyson Kuresa said...

Mandee...Joe IS probably a great guy, but you don't get a SECOND CHANCE to make a FIRST IMPRESSION. Unfortunately, he just screwed the pooch on this date. How can you say that he applied as a JOKE but with the intention of seeing POTENTIAL in Aubrey? Compared to the other great guys who DID have good intentions of seeing her POTENTIAL, why were the outcomes SIGNIFICANTLY different? You saw the frustration in her face. Don't get me wrong, I have friends who are VERY good friends with Joe and vouched for him;but to vouch for his behavior on this date and the fact that she was almost brought to tears at the end is something that I wouldn't even vouch for if he were a good friend of mine. It's OK to admit it wasn't the best date, but it's NOT ok to blame her for beeing "offended". So it's OK for a man to offend his significant other/wife as long as she doesn't get offended? You took Elder Bednar's talk way out of context. Joe is probably a GREAT guy, I don't doubt that. Just a bad combination, peanut butter and crab. Both delicious, but not together....and ADRIAN...now I KNOW for a fact you're related to NATHAN haha you lunatic

The Jayroes said...

Wow... I don't like this guy! What a jerk. You've got nothing to apologize for... You're a real trooper for making it through the whole date!!!!! I would have been done probably after a handful of minutes!

Anne said...

That was soooo funny.